PSS- SHASTA, MONDAY IS CHRISTMAS TREE DAY IN ITALY!!! CAN'T WAIT TO HANG OUR NEW ORNAMENTS! Enrico's Mum said she was only going to hang your ornaments on her tree...I will photo-document and display here!!!

OH, btw Shasta, try putting your shirt on first and THEN your seatbelt. baci! hahahaha

"There is no such thing as a "self-made" man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make-up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our success."

-George Matthew Adams


I admit it...after three months I finally set foot in the library. My thesis is a ticking time bomb...I must begin it and finish it immediately. BUT, I didn't go to the library for my thesis. I went to see Raffaele "MEEEEGGGGLLLIiiiooo". His Father passed away recently, so I went to say hello. He was so sweet, he smiled, spoke softly and at a surprisingly understandable rate...said he was doing well and then he called his wife so i could say hello! He asked me how everything was and what he could do to help me 'conquer' the library...starting by making a library card! ha!

After I left, I thought about Shasta. I walked to my Philosophy class and passed the places where she had stopped to snap pictures "Kate, the view is AMAZING! Keep walking, I'll catch up". She is my shining star. She flew into Italy, showed me around 'my town', caressed and hugged me up and then flew on her way to Australia to also start a new adventure of life.

Shasta, you warmed my heart...thinking back, maybe I seemed less chatty than normal? I think that anytime I wasn't talking my head off I was just listening to you and watching you, trying to take in your goodness and positivity...you said you thought of me as an older sister...but funny enough, I think you played that role for me this time.

I don't doubt that you are meeting every new experience and challenge with that beautiful smile of yours...I promise you that I thought about everything we talked about and I'm making the changes to make sure that I am also smiling that smile of mine that you know.

Why does Australia have to be so freaking in AUSTRALIA?! Mad love to you.

“If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work. “

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Oh Shanesya, this picture...it wasn't just any christmasy hallway...it was a direct path from me to you...(not to mention, a way to escape the noise from the construction on ST. CLAIR AVE WEST, which is now completely done and a lovely street car transports people in a timely fashion to the St. Clair West subway)

BLOODY TTC FOR PUTTING US THROUGH HELL!!! hahahaha

Am I bringing about Christmas cheer?

hahahahahahahaha

:-)

Love you,
Kate

This morning, during a 'coffee run' with Pasquale, Barbara and Mariangela ('coffee run' meaning, you stroll to the closest coffee shop, drink in .003 of a second your itty bitty espresso and then you stroll back to work or wherever you are going)...Pasquale said to me "Kate, tell me the truth, what is it that makes you happy like this all the time".

I replied, "Do you want the PG answer or the Rated 'R' answer?"

Rated 'R' it is....

1. Minimum of 6 hours of sleep
2. Coffee (even though I am not a heavy coffee drinker...so, you can substitute coffee for your favourite food. In my case, chocolate. Is chocolate a food? oh well.)
3. Take the approach "Don't worry, be happy"...whenever I start to worry too much about anything, eventually my brain kicks into RED ALERT, CALM DOWN mode and I remember no amount of stress is worth feeling physically or mentally ill.

Pasquale then asked, "What part of that is 'R' rated?". I respond "I'm not done yet...a fourth element can certainly aid 1 through 3..."

4. Three letter word...starts with s and ends with x.
(I added this fourth element for humour, but that doesn't make it any less valid)

The very last thing I had to add to this conversation was that I am probably just chemically imbalanced and therefore appear happy all the time.

Apart from this....I'd like to add that:

I'm pretty much convinced these days that there is some universal decree that if I feel sad...something will happen to brighten me up....and with good timing also (this is evidence that I am either ridiculously optimistic or chemically imbalanced).

Lately it has been food. I feel down and then I get a call. It's Enrico's Mum. Coincidentally, she's made my new favourite pasta and says, "...don't cook, come here and eat". Amazing, like I'm going to say no to that offer!!!
It is capable of changing my entire mood. I know, you're thinking I'm crazy, right? wait...

A couple of days ago a package arrived...for me. It was a book that Enrico got me as a present. As he unwrapped and revealed the book, I actually started crying. Joy, I finally have it...'eat, pray, love'.
The arrival of that book had the best timing...ever, of anything.
That day, I thought I was going to self destruct and one little book filled me with so much joy.

Speaking of which, on a completely unrelated note (more signs that I am C.I.), I wanted to note the things that I have yet to blog about...:

1. THE VESPA GETAWAY FROM VICIOUS RABIES DOG.
2. ROAMING, best hobby ever. I win first place at roaming.


NOTE FOR MY MUM: I missed you a lot on your birthday. In fact, I was downright sad and missing you. How is it that you are so amazing? LIKE, REALLY...why is it that Mum's are always right about everything, or almost, and they like touch something and make it perfect. I bake a cookie and it is like eating a rock and my Mum can whip up perfection from nothing (in case you are wondering, I will continue to rant, randomly, on this subject).

"Che rumore fa la felicità..."

I'm not going to lie, I'm falling in love with the italian language. I was resistant at first. I felt like I was betraying my spanish soul...but...there is space for il dolce stil nuovo...
Enrico knows, like my Mum, like my friends, like my Dad...I am testadura...so stubborn you might want to throw rocks at me....
but as I sat today having a coffee before work, talking to Antonello (the barman) and the kind waitress...i realized....it's happening. yup. i admit, it's beautiful.

A new song among my favourites....

Gianluca Grignani
La mia storia tra le dita

Sai penso che
Non sia stato inutile
Stare insieme a te.
Ok te ne vai
Decisione discutibile
Ma si, lo so, lo sai.
Almeno resta qui per questa sera
Ma no che non ci provo stai sicura.
Può darsi già mi senta troppo solo
Perche' conosco quel sorriso
Di chi ha già deciso.
Quel sorriso già una volta
Mi ha aperto il paradiso.

Si dice che
Per ogni uomo
C'é un'altra come te.
E al posto mio quindi
Tu troverai qualcun'altro
Uguale no non credo io.
Ma questa volta abbassi gli occhi e dici
Noi resteremo sempre buoni amici,
Ma quali buoni amici maledetti.
Io un amico lo perdono
Mentre a te ti amo.
Può sembrarti anche banale
Ma é un istinto naturale.

Ma c'é una cosa che
Io non ti ho detto mai.
I miei problemi senza di te
Si chiaman guai.
Ed é per questo
Che mi vedi fare il duro
In mezzo al mondo
Per sentirmi più sicuro.

E se davvero non vuoi dirmi
Che ho sbagliato.
Ricorda a volte un uomo
Va anche perdonato.
Ed invece tu,
Tu non mi lasci via d'uscita.
E te ne vai con la mia storia fra le dita.

Ora che fai,
Cerchi una scusa
Se vuoi andare vai.
Tanto di me
Non ti devi preoccupare
Me la saprò cavare.
Stasera scriverò una canzone
Per soffocare dentro un'esplosione.
Senza pensare troppo alle parole
Parlerò di quel sorriso
Di chi ha già deciso
Quel sorriso che una volta
Mi ha aperto il paradiso.

Ma c'é una cosa che
Io non ti ho detto mai.
I miei problemi senza di te
Si chiaman guai.
Ed é per questo
Che mi vedi fare il duro
In mezzo al mondo
Per sentirmi più sicuro.

E se davvero non vuoi dirmi
Che ho sbagliato.
Ricorda a volte un uomo
Va anche perdonato.
Ed invece tu,
Tu non mi lasci via d'uscita.
E te ne vai con la mia storia fra le dita.

THE FRIDGE PICTURES ARE SERIOUS.

Dad, this is very serious. if you don't send me a picture from christmas...i will do one of two things:
1) I will call and wake you up everyday...at 5 am your time
2) I will scream so loud you will hear it from here.

thanks,
Love,
Kate

PS- Enrico told me this morning that last night i put my hand on his head and started tapping with my fingers...JUST LIKE KEISHA!!!!
OH MY WORD...how can we be so much alike when we live so far apart...
genetics.
wow.

Mum,
The clothes drying on the line with the mountains in the background...view from the balcony...our towels smell gooooooood...so far, surviving wihtout a dryer isn't so tough. It just requires a little bit of planning, patience and good weather.

(PS- Everytime I iron a piece of clothing, I swear to God that I thank you for being my Mother and making my clothes so nice...I swear!! Right now there is a mountain of fresh clothes calling my name to iron them...)

Oh! And check out the grocery cart Enrico's pulling...fun, eh?!

THIS IS FOR YOU FRIEND.
YOUR CHURCH :-)
(Church in Settimo di Montalto Uffugo, Cosenza, Calabria, Italy ... aka right around the corner from our place)

I stopped traffic that day in the middle of the intersection and said...(in italian) I'M SORRY, but I'm VERY BUSY...I have to take a picture for my friend of this Church right now...and yes...it trumps whatever task you are trying to achieve in this moment.
Thank you kindly...you may now resume your traffic pattern.
TA DAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ha
ha
ha
Whether it was my fine italian or my stunningly short skirt...the long line of cars allowed me to take these two pictures...and then they all honked and made the hand formation...you know the one, friend..."ma che cazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........."
ha ha ha

WE WILL OWN A MEXICAN-CALABRIAN RESTAURANT.
(this pictures show how successful our mexican-calabrian burritos turned out...it's not easy finding tortillas in southern italy...high five Enrico)

Amanda, we're very busy. We need an interior designer. we will pay big dolla dolla bill....once we make it....what do you say?

Alberto & Joy...are you up to the task? Without your mexi'can selves...we're done for.
We need you!

Mum, what role would you like in the restaurant? You know you have to take part...it's a family establishment.

SPECIAL NOTE: The picture of Giorgio where it appears that he is cooking is in fact FALSE....Giorgio is the entertainment staff...FABIO is CO-HEAD CHEF / CUISINE ADVISOR


RESTAURANT NAMES ANYONE??? IDEAS????

Perspective:
"You have to learn another way to deal with things"
-E.N.

Imagine a very stressful moment in your life... got it? Now times it by ten, twenty...ummmm....add this visual...signs. signs with pictures. and sometimes with text in a language you don't understand. wait. add a voice...the voice is telling you in english to forget everything you've learned in your life thus far...

Instead of your standard 1 + 1 = 2...
think more along the lines of
-1 + 3 = 2
or
1.5 + 0.5 = 2
orrrrrr
2 x 1 = 2
and/orrrrrrrrrrr
the square root of 4 = 2

got it?

Think, Alice in Wonderland. yes, Alice...you are Alice and you don't know what the crap is going on. but, you go with it.

This is my attempt to describe to you how I felt saturday while driving in Rome, for the first time, under the direction of Enrico. Of course, it pales in comparison to the reality that was.
By the time we got out of the car in central Rome, the back of my shirt was covered in sweat. sexy. ummm. who cares...We were alive. I was triumphant. still confused. ever suffered from vertigo? I imagine the feeling was similar.

Some more detail? Indeed.

As I was zooming along the street that runs parallel to the river Tevere in Rome, I nearly clip a vehicle...the reason? I tried to switch lanes, with my signal. Enrico explains to me (and I paraphrase):

"Kate, you cannot switch a full lane in Italy, much less in Rome. You must think of the street as divided in quarter lanes. As for your signal...you are only confusing them...if you don't go like your signal shows, they won't know what you are trying to do...just GO. They will stop or react if you are confident. Prepotente. Now, get into the 'left', pass in the middle up there and DO NOT USE FIRST GEAR again until we leave Rome. OH, and show no fear."

Now, I wonder if you are thinking the same thing I am still thinking...
"QUARTER LANES?" (as a reference, please see, Indian Masters of lane division: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjrEQaG5jPM)
!£%/ ()& %$%°ç@@ %£/@!!!

Driving in Rome is not for the faint of heart. If you are a passenger in a car in Rome and you wear a pacemaker, you must also wear a blindfold. Got it?
Pacemaker = Blindfold
Weak bladder = Blindfold
Pregnant = Blindfold
Nervous = Blindfold

What the crap, you might even drive better with a Blindfold...

PERSPECTIVE
Main Entry: 1 per·spec·tive
Pronunciation: \pər-ˈspek-tiv\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English perspectyf, from Medieval Latin perspectivum, from neuter of perspectivus of sight, optical, from Latin perspectus, past participle of perspicere to look through, see clearly, from per- through + specere to look — more at per-, spy
Date: 14th century
archaic : an optical glass (as a telescope)

Joy hand-painted these 'nichos' herself...I know, freaking amazing!
-------

It's amazing to me when I think about our three years together...the three of us became a fun and funny little family, didn't we. My happiest memories of those three years involve you. Didn't matter if it was just across Gainesville or Atlanta...I was always ready to come and see you (if I lacked motivation, food joined the plans and on my way I went!).
Our times together, by lake Alice, on y'alls porch, walking through the Decatur cemetery (morbid, I know), sitting on the monster sofa...the bunny sleeping with me, are among my favourite times, in life...where I was just happy, so happy and that's from just being with you both. listening to you. learning from you. talking with you. It's hard when I love two people as much as I love you both, to be far from you. The truth is, I don't want to spend my life in the US, but had I been able to get a visa for another year, I would have stayed just to be close to you. Sounds crazy to anyone else, but I am a little crazy anyways.
How could I express it in any other way to make you understand how much you both mean to me...
love.
knowing that if I call and talk to your answering machine long enough for you to know it's me, you'll pick up...
knocking on your door unexpectedly and always feeling welcome...
sharing tragedies and drama and not feeling embarassed...
hugs just because...
telling me how it is...
and and and and and...
love.

I so naturally love you both. You are a part of my everyday life, wherever we are. that's awesome.

'...be worth more in your own eyes'

When I act in a way that doesn't reflect who I feel I am or who I want to be...when I do something that I want to hide because it would be embarassing to admit...
it's time...
...past time...time to evaluate my behaviour. myself.
go back to the root of the root of myself.

I was reading one of Father Ken's sermons from August...
the point i found most useful...
i need to 'raise the bar' of what I expect of and for myself.
...continuously evaluate...not leave it for when things go 'wrong' or poorly...

http://www.saintjameswestminster.ca/sermons/080824.pdf

Hi Mum, I miss you. everyday. always did before anyways.
Madrid, Gainesville, Atlanta, Toronto, Cosenza...
Always in all ways. Even when you are sassing me around because I...(insert any number of things here that I do that might be annoying).
Although, I especially like it when you aren't sassing me and instead prepare fruit for me :-)
Love,
Kate

I heard a saying in the summer in Italy and it came up in conversation last night...

A little bit of Italian wisdom? Here we go...

L'acqua vudde e lu purcu è alla muntagna.
(Dialect from Pasquale Pace from Castrovillari)

L'acqua vuddra e u' puarcu é ara muntagna.
(Dialect from Enrico from Cosenza)

L'acqua gujja e u' porcu e a la muntagna.
(Dialect from Gianluca from Catanzaro)

L'acqua bolle e il maiale è alla montagna.
(Italian)

The water is boiling and the pig is on the mountain.
(English)

Translation...when you want to do a certain task but you skip almost all of the steps to get there and then you don't have the basics to complete the task.

DON'T JUMP THE GUN.
First, you have to catch the pig, then prepare the pig, of course boil the water and 'EVVIVA'....cook that pig!!!

;-)

They (the italian people who set standards for foreign students) said I had to be here Sept.2, without fail, to take a national 'language test'...some language test: It had history, math, italian grammar and english questions!

Of 130 multiple choice questions, I answered 73. Of 73, I only got 52 correct.

Thankfully...this doesn't count, at all.

phew...

Progress...
First you disassemble, donate, divide, distribute, return, store or safeguard...
then you pack...in my case, all you can fit into 3 bags...
with the help of friends and family, who are supporting you even if they think youre brave and kind of nuts...
next, lots of hugs, love yous, thinking am i really going to move far away from all these people i love and of course plenty of visiting before heading to airport....
getting on a flight and waking up in a plane thinking...holy shit...allo Enrico, guess what, Im really on my way, finalmente, an opportunity to build.
oh but wait, then, you get out of the plane, remember you dont speak italian and think...shit---i hope i packed my italian grammar book in one of my 50 pound bags, or perhaps in my 20 pound backpack, or possibly in my 16 pound guitar case...&/%$&$(!!!!!

growing is real, and hard, and exciting, and wild, and wait....really really real.
for the past week, Ive woken up next to the person I love and not had to think, oh shit, the vacation is almost over, see you in 2 or 3 months, maybe.

in one week ive already learned that he hates things on the bed, asks me things ive probably forgotten about or havent done, and makes sure i drink enough water at lunch...
he also prepares the breakfast table, is always looking for the best solution to progress and to move forward and helps, with everything...
one week is nothing, but starting something real, en vivo, is a great way to move forward...the best.

The luckiest.

Go figure that nothing in life works out the way you picture perfect planned it in your crazy little mind...I knew that, but did I really know it? It bloody amazes me when life comes around and spanks me, teaches me...

I think a wound is finally healing and that I'm finding some peace about a deep loss...and that loss isn't so lost and surprisingly, pleasantly holds my hand and covers me in love.

How did I feel? I thought, what an ass I was/am. So I got hurt, really hurt and decided to walk...I got hurt and left a friendship...lame, I know...and then I suffered and dreamt about it for years. sometimes "some type of peace" just isn't enough...We both suffered, a great deal I think and for what?

In any case, that peace, her peace took my itty bitty peace and opened the door, brought us face to face, holding hands.

How I used to pray for this moment. God please take this poison out of me and fill my heart with love, help me abandon my pride, help her forgive me for not being there. I lost. we lost moments. 6 years of them. How could I be so selfish?

And there it was, the hug I'd dreamt of for six years...

i'm the luckiest.

Thank you for having no limit to your love.

boy, in life, i've still got a freaking lot to learn...and, I might lack discipline but i dooooooooooo lovvvvvvvvvvvvve to learn!

Amen.


Drops of Jupiter
Train

Now that shes back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that theres time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there

Now that shes back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that theres time to grow, hey, hey

Now that shes back in the atmosphere
Im afraid that she might think of me as plain ol jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know youre wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way