I've got a friend.
I met her at the lunch table my first day of University.
I was that annoying girl asking her seven thousand questions. Lucky for me, she didn't mind and we started a friendship that I'm pretty sure will last longer than our teeth will hold out.

She's something quite extraordinary...everybody says that about their friends, but I mean it. Some of the most interesting and memorable conversations I've ever had have been with her.
I'm not going to lie that I would love to pull up a chair with Kafka and chat for hours, but it would be a thousand times better if my friend were also there to teach Kafka a thing or two. Surely they'd become friends.
Just about the only thing she isn't good at is putting up curtains...although she is a fiiiiiine Macgyver with duct tape.

Her Dad passed away on Sunday.
I never had the opportunity to meet him due to distance and lack of funds...
but I know a fair amount about him, and I also know how much my friend cared, respected and loved her Dad.
She read me his eulogy yesterday. I could perfectly imagine him through her words. Exactly the same individual she had been telling me about for the past 9 years.
This woman is solid, but her father was her rock.

I remember calling her once a few years ago, worried because I hadn't been able to reach her for 2 or 3 days...she said, oh, I had a minor operation at the hospital. WHAT? I said. Yeah, no worries. she responded. HOW DID YOU GET HOME??? I drove, she told me, non-chalant her tone. YOU ARE A MANIAC.
That's her.
Spitting image of her father, I believe.
She once told me she was thinking about quitting her phD and becoming a DJ...and she could do it, but, she would hold out and complete her studies, make her Dad proud since he had impressed upon her the importance that her education would have.

I'm worried about you.
I've never seen you in a situation that you couldn't handle.
I didn't want to be the one on the telephone hearing you say, I don't know what I'm going to do.
If you don't know, who the hell else can know...you are the only one I know who seems to make sense out of everything and anything.
So, I think this is the one moment.
I hope you heard me.
What I said to you.

This is your time. You get to have all the support around you. You don't have to worry about helping anyone else right now...you get to grieve the loss of your father for as long as you need. You don't have to answer to anyone.
I hope you reflect and think about that life that has been an important part of your own. Think about your Dad, and think about yourself.
And when in doubt, flustered, surrounded by the buzz of useless chatter...hit a pub and have a guiness, cheers your Dad and breathe...look at the sea and relax...go to where you feel best.

when you're ready, think about that home that you associate with your Dad, and think...is that home tied to a physical location...will maintaining that physical location mean the maintenance of a place of solace or is it just the site of memories that are better preserved in your mind.

Nobody is going to pressure you into anything because you aren't going to let them.

I heard the same person on the phone yesterday as the person I met 9 years ago...a few more titles added after the name, but the same person.
I don't think you really need it, but I sure wish I could be there to stand with you.